Stefan's Diary:  A girl that changed my life
by xxtwilightx
Summary: stefan's point of view of the of season 1 and sequels for season 2,3...   with added info that the tv show didnt tell us! based on season 1 and 2 also "The Stefan Diaries" R&R enjoy x
1. Chapter 1

Ok so this is my first TVD fanfic and will be based on the TV series (YEAH!) as I am totally obsessed and devoted to it. I haven't read the books series (YET) I know bad right? But I do have the first book ready and waiting. So far I'm not amazing at the whole updating regularly thing but I am getting better everyone who reviews will get a shout out on the next chapter btw so please tell me what you think?

I am also thinking of doing Damon's diary from 1864? What do you guys think? Ok well here is Stefan's diary

May 23rd 2009

I sat, staring at a box of my posessions I had left here from my last visit. This was my retreat. A home I knew would always be here so I usually left the important things here with me,

I had been back living in mystic falls only a few weeks back with Zach, he's great company to be around after being alone for so many years since Damon left. I'm suprised Zach even remembers damon, its a long time for a human.

I hadn't seen Damon for years, I wouldn't even know if he was alive or not. Not that he cared if I was ok anyway. The brother who never got mad, Sometimes I thought about him, how we used to play as humans and he would go to battle, leaving me with father to be pushed and shoved into everything i didnt want. I remember my human life better than other events, something that i can relate back to. That was who I was. Everything I could have been, Regected from my body.

I found my years of journals, stacked up neatly in a box, some with little amounts and some with more. The small portrait sticking out one of the pages struck me and I opened it quickly,

_september 25th, 1864_

_They say love can conquer all. But can it conquer father's belief that katherine and those like her are demons- devils? i do not exaggerate when i say katherine is an angel. she saved my life- and anna's. Father must know the truth. Once he does, he will be unable to deny katherine's goodness. it is my duty as a salvatore to stay tru to my convictions and to the ones I love. Now it is my time for action, no doubt. Confidence courses through my veins. I will make Father understand the truth- that we are all the same. And with that truth will come love. Father will call off the sieghe. This I swear on my name and my life._

I stared blankly at the page, I remember writing this. The way I had felt so certain my father would give up. Only to be tricked into wounding Katherine anyway. The picture showed Katherine, stood tall and beutiful with her chocolate ringlets down her back. Her face, a look of amusement as she smiles at the camera.

It was days like this I would just sit and remember my loss, the family I could have had, the love I had devoted to Katherine, but she had used me, betrayed our love using compultion and she was nothing to me now. And she was gone, Damon sat and watched her burn that night...

I attemted to focus my trail of thoughts onto something else. I shuffled through an old pile of things and found something that made me smile, It was a photo of my closesnt friend Lexi and I, we were sat laughing, taken only a few years ago at a Bon Jovi concert. I loved this picture. It remined me of how I finally became pure, Lexi had tought me everything.

My birthday was soon and I was much looking forward to seeing my oldest friend. She always knew me so well, understood everything I did without questioning.

As a vampire, she understood what I went through all those years ago and helped me change into the person I am today.

I threw everything back into the box, tired of the aimless shuffling and moved to sit back in the chair.

Here I sat, resting my head back in the ancient armchair and sighed. What to do with myself today. I knew I needed to hunt (my strict, animal-only diet) and yet, the feeling I needed to be somewhere dawned on me.

Zach walked into the room, a glass in his hand as he handed it to me.

"Thank you Zach, please don't feel the need to bring me drinks. You're not my servant." I laughed a little; I needed something to lighten my mood.

"Uncle Stefan, you are going to hunt tonight aren't you?" he asked me nervously. Seeing how my eyes tightened as out hand touched for a second as he passed me the glass.

"Of course, Zach. I just feel there is something that needs to be done." I pondered, looking out the darkened window.

"Uncle Stefan, if you are planning on staying here, you must enrol in school at the start of this year." He sighed and a little agitated I stared him square in the eye.

"You're not my parent Zach, I can do as I like."

"For all intense purposes Stefan, I am. Well to everyone around I am. Your underage, remember." I sighed, knowing he was right and stood up.

"Your right, I should go hunt." I stood up and ran from the house, thankful to be away from Zach's incessant nagging. I heard a sudden crash come from wikery bridge down the road and within the next second a high, familiar scream. Who would I know around here? Suddenly I smelled the scent of human blood. I knew it well and from my years of restraint, I knew I should be able to cope for a few seconds to see if the person was ok.

Running at full speed, I saw a car, fully submerged in water, sinking rapidly to the ground. I could see there were people inside and without hesitation, dived down after it.

I swam directly to where a man was sat, I could hear his voice easily though the glass but his voice sounded sharp with the lack of air. I instinctively attempted to drag him from the car but he touched my hand to stop me. Then pointed behind at the girl in the back, then to his wife. I looked back quickly to where I was pointing and felt my heart leap when I saw_ Katherine_ in the back seat. What was Katherine doing here, but the girl sounded breathless and dying. It couldn't be Katherine. Damon had seen her die. But I knew nobody could look that similar. I wanted to think it was her but I knew deep down it couldn't be…

I smashed the window and hauled the girl from the car; she seemed unconscious in a pretty dress as if she had just come from a party. I knew she didn't have long left and dragged her to the top where I lay her down, gave her another quick glance then dived back down. Once down, I paid attention to the woman in the passenger seat, but as much as I tried, there was no heart beat. I checked with my fingers quickly but I then noticed where I had smelt the blood.

She had a gash in her forehead, something I had missed the first time, I looked over to the man but I knew at a glance. He was dead too. I had seen many dead bodies in my life.

I suddenly remembered the girl I had left on the bank and rushed to the edge where she was still unconscious.

I stared a little more and noticed she was identical to Katherine, nothing different. But I could hear that she wasn't a vampire, her heart to ragged and slowing rapidly. I needed to get her to a hospital and fast.

HOW WAS THAT GUYS? PLEASE REVIEW. NEXT CHAPTER UP SHORLY. XXX


	2. Chapter 2

THANK YOU: ELLIE MASEN ROCKS and Dinox FOR YOUR REVIEWS

Come on guys! Over 50 people read it! please reivew x

I picked her up in my arms, looking sadly back at the car and rushed her toward the hospital. I could feel her breath getting slower and her heart straining against all the water in her lungs.

"It's going to be ok." I whispered to her and brushed a string of her silky brown hair from her face, the only difference noticeable was the straight hair against Katherine's curls. I looked carefully in her small bag, noticing everything looked ruined; she had her licence in there.

Looking carefully, I read _Elena Gilbert _the picture was breathtakingly beautiful and it said she was 17 years old. A descendant of Jonathan Gilbert? How can that be possible? She looked too much like Katherine. A pierce. The resemblance was too similar.

Her heart was almost slowed so I lay her on the ground and began CPR, her lipstick sidetracking me for a second or so. She coughed a few times and I continued until I was sure there was no more water in her lungs threatening to kill her.

I reached the hospital and knew that I couldn't stay. I was thirsty so I couldn't be seen or I would be questioned and if I slipped now, after being so careful. I would never forgive myself.

I opened a window into the ward and climbed through, placing her on a spare bed. Before jumping from the window as a nurse toddled out of the office and stopping at the bed.

I knew I should have gone but I needed to see and check she was ok. The nurse looked baffled for a few seconds before checking her pulse and calling another few nurses out.

"Call Sheriff Forbes" she suddenly said "Its Grayson Gilberts daughter." She then surveyed the girl- Elena again. Although I still wasn't convinced it wasn't Katherine.

I knew I wasn't going to see much else tonight and knew my time to hunt had come.

Running quickly into the forest, I caught the scent of a running rabbit, grabbing it easily; I sunk my teeth down into it.

Who was that girl? I knew I needed to find out and from that moment, I knew I would be dedicating my next few months finding out who this mystery girl was.

The night passed in a blur and I woke the next morning to the TV blurring.

"Stefan, you might want to see this." Zach said from downstairs, knowing full well I would hear. I quickly dressed and ran down the stairs in record time.

"what?" I asked then he pointed towards the TV.

_Grayson Gilbert, doctor and Mystic Falls hospital and wife Miranda were found in a tragic car crash over Wickery Bridge. Daughter, Elena Gilbert was in the crash but seemed to have turned up in the hospital merely a few hours after leaving a house party. Elena and Son, Jeremy have been handed over to Miranda Gilberts younger sister and will continue to live in mystic falls. We urge all who come across the two sibling comfort the two teenagers through this stage… _

I turned the TV off with a click, unable to hear anymore. I needed to know who this woman was and before Zach could ask the questions I knew were coming, I rushed out the door and back to the river.

The closer I got, the more I could sense the people who surrounded the area. Police cars now surrounded the lake where the car had been dragged out and the bodies were being loaded into an ambulance.

I quickly got the scent of the girl from last night, and began to track the scent towards the hospital and then back into the centre of the village.

There seemed to be a lot of mourning hanging in the air as I walked and I suddenly felt extreme pity for the girl I had saved. I wanted to know how she was but more importantly, who she was.

I followed the scent back to a house I knew I wouldn't be allowed to enter and climbed up the side to look into the window. Elena sat there, crying into an older girls arms, and a boy sat in the corner, head in his hands. I wanted to comfort them all but I began to feel rude spying on them, tying to figure out some puzzle that seemed about as important as a speck of dust right now.

I turned back and looked out towards the street. How was I going to begin my search? I knew that I had nowhere to start.

I headed out to the library where I grabbed a computer farthest away from the rest and attempted to access the old files that were stored on the computer. Locked.

I moved over to the librarian and looked deep into her eyes.

_You will allow me to search the high security files._

I always felt a little guilty when compelling people but this was important. I needed to know if there was any way that could possibly be Katherine.

The woman showed me towards the computer at the back and I quickly thanked her and sat down. I could tell the computer wasn't used much.

**1864 mystic falls death. **

I typed into the search box and scrolled down through all the files. There were many on old attacks but one article took my attention for a second.

**Daily 1864**

_**The Salvatore boarding house has a new arrival as Giuseppe Salvatore offers a warm home to Miss Katherine Pierce who recently lost her parents during a fire. His two sons, one fighting boldly in the Civil war whilst the other is rumoured to become engaged to the beautiful Rosalyn Cartwright in a few short weeks, are very welcoming of the poor girl…. **_

I stared at the ancient picture of Katherine in the picture and sighed. No difference between the two at all. There was no way Elena could not be related. I looked up Elena's birth certificate next but it still read. Grayson and Miranda Gilbert yet I needed more proof.

I continued to scroll through a few more 1864 news reports until I came to the one I had been looking for.

_**Battle of willow creek. **_

_**The defence of the town was left to a small army of less than 3,000 men against the enemy, never less than 12,000 and sometimes as many as 25,000 and always within a days march. The regiment engaged the enemy at Willow Creek near **__**Mystic Falls, VA**__**. They were driven back across the river until nightfall when fighting subsided and they made camp on the 7th April 1865. The remaining troops left camp and moved 3 miles along the river's south bank. They were determined to make a stand near the Braunwarth Mill, a little below **__**the Falls**__** where Willow Creek meets the river proper because its right flank could be protected by the high bluffs the battle lasted into the night. In the morning the remaining troops retreated into the fortification at **__**Mystic Falls**__**.**_

_**Fells church was tragically burnt as the battle met the heart of mystic falls. The tragic death of many soldiers and innocent people rang in the air for the next few days. **_

In small writing underneath, I made out a little note someone had written

_27 vampires burned in fells church that night. Stefan and Damon Salvatore rumoured to have attempted the escape of Katherine Pierce, one of the known vampires. Then she was dragged back into the carriage. Katherine Pierce was burned with the others. _

So Katherine had burned. Now to begin searching why Katherine Pierce and Elena Gilbert looked identical.


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you: lulu-144, celia, Ellie Maison Rocks, LadyElena17and Applefangz for your reviews!

Sorry about the major wait! I Cant believe I have been so pathetic at updating! Its unreal! Anyway... enjoy xxx

september 7th, 2009

I watched her, I continued to wonder In astonishment. I was reminded of the times I had spent with Katherine, the way she had made me feel, I had loved her too much. But it wasn't real. As soon as I knew what she was she repulsed me. Even when my father tied her up in the Vervain soaked ropes, I stood, watching.

Knowing she was going through agonising pain yet not caring. Now I was just like her and I had embraced my new life with pride at what she had made us. Looking back, I was wrong. She had used us both because she was lonely and needed us to stay alive. It was my fault she was dead.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I had convinced myself that since I saved Elena, It would reset what I had done to Katherine.

It would let me leave that regret for what I had done behind. I had left my brother in so much pain, the brother that had once been my best friend. Sent off the rails because of my many mistakes back in New Orleans 145 years ago... No that was a long time ago, I cannot blame myself for what happened to my brother, he could have changed.

Found his humanity like I did. Lexi offered to help him, but he lost that privileged. I cannot blame myself, yet I still do.

It was the first day of school after summer break and I had decided I had to enrole. Zach had forced me to, if I was staying. Not that he owned me. I was older, wiser and it was my house. He had no right.

But I respected his wishes as he had stayed faithful to me for many years, watching over my old house, the only house that would ever feel like home.

I reached the school entrance, I could see Elena with Bonnie, one of her closest friends, I had seen her with most of summer. The break had been a chance for her and her brother Jeremy to get over their loss and even more of a chance to get to know the people of the area. As far as I was aware. There was matt.

The school football player, he was Elena's ex and to be honest, a little desperate. Then there was Caroline, she seemed to be friendly with Elena, and yet, I got the feeling she was a very insecure person and this caused her to become a little over competitive when it came to it.

Elena had walked inside by this point and I quickly made my way to the desk, Being a vampire had its disadvantages and one of them being, I had no permanent records so when I walked up to the receptionist, of course, it was the first thing she asked.

I suddenly heard them behind me, I was shocked and a little exited. You might call it stalking, but I had been watching them for weeks and they were like my own personal celebrities.

"Hold up, who's this?" I heard bonnie say 

"All I see is back." Elena Added, they were talking about me. I smiled a little 

" It's a hot back!" I heard Elena Laugh, it was just like Katherine, just how I remembered her.

"Your missing immunisation records, and we do insist on transcripts" the receptionist insisted, staring back down at the page, I felt guilty but not enough to stop me. I lowered my glasses slightly

"Please look again, I'm sure everything you need is there." She gave me that dazed expression they all do before returning to the page

"Well your right, so it is."

I'm sensing Seattle and he plays a guitar." I heard Bonnie murmur behind me again and I grinned. They were still there?

" You're really going to run this whole psychic thing into the ground, huh?"

what Elena doesn't know is that Bonnie Bennett really was a witch. I had a little extra time to research her as well and as I guessed, she was closely related to Emily. The town has barely changed 

" Pretty much." I heard bonnie answer.

I heard Elena sigh before saying quietly to bonnie

"I'll be right back." and she strode off.

"Please be hot." I heard bonnie say as I uttered a thank you and turned to walk the way Elena headed.

Bonnie stared at me in a dumbstruck manner as I passed her and I began to walk through the corridors to the men's room. I saw heads turn, murmurs. Was I really that much of a big deal?

And that's when I crashed into her.

She was beautiful. I hadn't been this close to her for months, and the last time I had she had been nearly dead. Identical. She was utterly identical.

Her hair was the only thing separating them both as Elena's was silky and straight whilst Katherine had been in loose ringlets. But that was 145 years ago. Who knows what it would have been like now. She stared for a second

"Uh, Pardon me." I stumbled, I couldn't forget to be a gentleman could I?

"Um, is this the, uh men's room?" I asked, trying not to laugh yet curious why she had been in there.

She looked embarrassed and I little shocked as she looked back at the door.

"Uh, Yes. I...I was just..Um..I was Just .." she gave up, shaking her head "Its a long story." she was adorable. I gave her a smile and nodded. I let her past and I felt bad, she looked so embarrassed

"Thank you." she whispered as she avoided eye contact and I watched her leave, she looked back as she walked away. She can't be interested in me too, could she?

My first lesson of the day, History. My personal favourite, as you can guess and even better, I was in class with Elena. She looked back at me over and over. Did she really like me. And I barley heard the teacher babbling on in the background.

I had heard it all before. I was sat near Matt and I could practically feel the jealously radiating from his body, especially after bonnie sent something to Elena and he attempted to read over her shoulder. I just grinned to myself. It was strange to be surrounded by young teenagers, I had forgotten what it was like.

After a period of glances to and fro, I had gym. It was track so as a vampire, it was pretty easy. Matt threw me jealous glances thought the entire period and the other guys seemed to find me a little intimidating so I was glad when bell went.

After a slow day of Math, English and French (Two of which I had with Elena) I subtly wandered the woods, knowing Elena to have come to the Cemetery. I had watched her here many times, she sat by her parents graves and wrote in the journal. It was sometimes hard to watch, seeing her cry her heart out and not be able to do anything about it. In a way I feel I caused it. Maybe if I had been faster I could have saved them all. I had a choice on who to save. Maybe I could have tried harder.

I watched through the trees and suddenly saw something that caught my eye.

A crow.

And smoke.

I had seen this all to often.

Damon

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